A lot has changed since 2009. So much so that when I read back, a lot of what I wrote does not sound not like the present 'me'. I think its called growing older - restraint, refrain automatically applied to thoughts, emotions, behavior. Hopefully I wont be doing any of that here. Writing/ continuing to write in this little journal will clear a lot of clutter that has occupied in an otherwise peaceful, composed mind. Clutter that is caused due to age, change in personality, change in careers, also change in the government. A few key things though have not really changed. I remember expressing somewhere in the blog that I see myself settling down in India. And in India I am. Somewhere between stuck in a rat race and not participating in a rat race.
Before I start sounding deep and philosophical, I'll stop. I've decided that I might as well enjoy the 'in-between/ self-discovery' process until I gather enough courage to fully drop out of the rat race. I've quit research work. One that I'm a double graduate in but lost a taste for when I started to work in my previous place of work. It has been a year and in the last one year, I've picked up the computer more times to edit pictures than to research on outdated technologies. I've picked up a note pad more to create and compose visuals than to make notes as a 'shadow referee'. I've enjoyed myself directing my models to enjoy themselves in front of the camera more than being directed to repeat experiments for the sake of repetition. I've enjoyed times when I saw spaces come alive from a piece of paper more than when my papers were published with someone else's name.
So here's me restarting to write, restarting to find myself little by little and everything else in the middle.
Before I start sounding deep and philosophical, I'll stop. I've decided that I might as well enjoy the 'in-between/ self-discovery' process until I gather enough courage to fully drop out of the rat race. I've quit research work. One that I'm a double graduate in but lost a taste for when I started to work in my previous place of work. It has been a year and in the last one year, I've picked up the computer more times to edit pictures than to research on outdated technologies. I've picked up a note pad more to create and compose visuals than to make notes as a 'shadow referee'. I've enjoyed myself directing my models to enjoy themselves in front of the camera more than being directed to repeat experiments for the sake of repetition. I've enjoyed times when I saw spaces come alive from a piece of paper more than when my papers were published with someone else's name.
So here's me restarting to write, restarting to find myself little by little and everything else in the middle.
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